I feel fortunate to have been raised in a fruitful life so far. That being said, no matter how good someone has it, we all inevitably run into rough times, awkward experiences & regretful situations.
Regarding the title, I do not always mean these lessons are difficult to accept. Rather, many of these notions are hidden on the basis of - assumption that everyone already knows them, a perception of lacking relevancy in their own lives or that many people simply don't care.
There's a common belief that younger people, like the ones in their twenties, haven't lived or experienced life enough to give valid advice. However, I think this concept is a generalization, irrespective of someone's age. It often takes personal experience, reflection and change in a person's character to determine one's understanding. I believe we all can learn something from each other - even if that's learning to disagree with one another in a productive manner.
I still have so much left to learn - as this reflection derives from my personal experiences, I recognize that your experiences will inherently look different from mine. None of this advice has to be taken by anyone; it is your choice.
I understand there are cases where some of this advice may not apply. Lastly, I voice my own [current] perspective, so I acknowledge my bias may be challenged. With that in mind, here's a list of lessons that have continued to help me navigate my early twenties:
Don't let your self-expectations define what you expect out of others. Be the change & set the example you wish others would've shown you.
Remind yourself to consider the objective truth; subjective truth is secondary. The mind often looks for reasons to validate conclusions we want to or believe to be true.
One's story is often pushed to be kept brief. But if you continue to work towards your goals, you'll have a novel to tell those who are ready to admire your success.
Find time to be proud of your achievements. We are surrounded by comparison and numbers, but the reward you've earned comes with a right to cherish it as you live.
If you admire a quality in someone, let them know they're appreciated. Some of the best praise you can give someone is often in the effort others don't recognize/acknowledge.
Dreams and thoughts can be effective fertilizers in the garden of your mind, but it does you no good to have an empty field with no crops of action to cultivate.
If someone expresses flagrant opinions, it is often wiser to let them dig their own grave than to fuel their fire; you do not have to change your views to please them. They often do not have your best interest at heart, but their own vain desire to feel superior to you.
It's not a matter of fault, but of responsibility - one which we both share individually. The messenger's is how they deliver their message; the recipient's is how they perceive it.
You are likely to unintentionally run into someone's boundaries at some point. Many folks will not make their boundaries clear with you until they have been crossed. Guilt is only a symptom of conflict - apologize for misunderstanding and make an effort to learn from it.
Love is only as possible as you let it be. If you harden your heart from the joy of the world, you don't give it a chance to love you. Kindness is often punished by today's society, but not everyone has experienced this virtue in the same way or with pure intentions either.
Our society is structured in a way that illustrates an illusion of things we "cannot control" and creates systems for us to depend on them. Even with these in place, know you have more control of your future than you may realize. The attitude you possess determines it.
It's important to recognize who you keep close to you; consider self-reflection in times of conflict as well. It's easy to misconstrue unresolved trauma with a perception of betrayal from your friends. Communicate with them; if they choose to leave after, that's on them.
Arrogance lies in the need to belittle those, whom you disagree with, in the assumption of believing you will always be right. Confidence is the willingness to accept your losses in stride, hear voices other than your own and being open to learn - in light of the truth.